


BOYS WILL BE BUGS

by Fairi_Channie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Related, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Siblings, Based on a song, Brotherly Love, Coming of Age, Fluff, Gen, Homophobia, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, aged-down characters, freshman year is hard, internalized shit???, lee felix is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22237633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairi_Channie/pseuds/Fairi_Channie
Summary: Ain't that how its s’posed to be? Though it isn’t meBoys will be bugs right?-Felix's freshman year of high school told in snippets between August and December.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix, Lee Felix & Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	BOYS WILL BE BUGS

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Cavetown song "Boys Will Be Bugs"--all lyrics are not my own.  
> Please enjoy this little coming off age story I wrote. It was an original work for a class, but I changed it to an SKZ fic to post here--if you want to see the original version please message me on Twitter!

**August**

_ Ain't that how its s’posed to be? Though it isn’t me _

_ Boys will be bugs right? _

Felix thrived in the forest right after the rain. The smell of mud mixed with the smell of fresh rain, the sound of various animals moving through the underbrush. It felt  _ right _ , it felt like  _ home _ . These woods were unfamiliar to him still, he had moved to the town only a week before and it was the first time he got to explore them. Despite the unfamiliarity of these woods, Felix fell into old rhythms easily as he lifted himself to sit on a fallen log a short distance from the main walking trail.

“This year is gonna be great!” He announced to dead air as he swung his legs, the swish of his basketball shorts mixed with the lull of bugs and bird chirps. “That’s right! It’s gonna be great, because I’m starting high school this year, and it’s a brand new school where nobody knows me. So, I’m gonna be able to be Felix-- _ just  _ Felix--and the boys won’t know me as anyone else so they’ll finally believe that I’m just like them.”

He jumped from the log and struck a dramatic pose before he continued to speak, “Yup! I’ve done all kinds of research on how to be a proper boy. I tried to ask Chris about it first and he just told me to ‘be myself’...” Felix rolled his eyes as he made quiet ‘ _pfft_ ’ at the thought, he deflated from his pose before he continued to speak, “I can’t believe he’d say that to me… If it didn’t work last year, it definitely won’t work this year.  _ So _ , instead of asking Chris for anything else, I decided it was time to do my  _ own  _ research.”

As he ran between the trees, Felix continued to monologue. “I did all kinds of research too. I listened to music, and I watched movies, and TV, and YouTubers, and I- I… I did it  _ all _ ! And I think I know how to be a real boy now!” Felix stopped running suddenly, crouching down to observe the ground as he caught his breath, letting out a small gasp when he spotted the coolest looking centipede, like,  _ ever _ . He held out his hand for it to crawl onto, as he held still waiting for it, he thought giddily of the year to come, and then--  _ then! _ \-- the small creature crawled onto his hand.

Felix stood then, cupping his hand so the centipede wouldn’t crawl away. With a dramatic sigh, he moved through the wooded area, his thoughts racing with the possibilities of his first day of school. What if this school was just like his last? What if everybody found out the truth, that he was a fraud? But what if nothing bad happened? What if teachers all called him Felix and nobody learned the truth? 

Fumbling with his new phone, slightly too big for his hands, Felix sucked in a breath when he noticed the time. He was about 15 minutes away from his house, yet he had 5 minutes to get home. “Bye, Mr. ‘Pede,” he whispered, gently putting the bug down. As he formulated his excuse for why he was late to curfew, Felix vigorously wiped his hands on his shirt as if it would clean his hands of bug-related germs.

Then, he ran off, still nervous, still wondering ‘what if’, but a little more confident.

* * *

**September**

_ The other boys at school _

_ Think it's cool to hate your parents _

_ But they’re lying all the time _

Felix picked up a routine very quickly. After he had spent all day at school, he’d get home and drop off his things, before running off into the woods for the afternoon. His mom tried to tell him that he should ‘join a club’, but Felix had shot her down by saying that nothing seemed interesting to him. _ (That was a partial lie, there was a horticulture club he thought would be fun, but after he learned who was in the club he decided against it). _

He hoisted himself onto the fallen tree he had found his first day in the woods, Felix hummed softly. Usually, Felix liked to monologue to nobody when he sat here, recounting his days as if recording a diary entry, but last week someone had overheard him and yelled out, “What’s up man? What’d’ya say?” 

He wasn’t over that embarrassment yet.

But, Felix also couldn’t contain his urge to  _ talk _ . So, he whispered to himself instead.

“Today was so weird… The real quiet kid, his name’s Seungmin, I think, he just sat with me at lunch! And it was kind of cool to talk to someone during lunch because I usually don’t have anyone to talk to. But, it’s weird because I’ve been there a whole month already and ain’t nobody talked to me at lunch before. He was cool, I guess, talked a whole lot about Pokemon and I had to pretend I knew more than I did. And after lunch he was like, ‘can I sit with you again tomorrow’ and I, like, malfunctioned ‘cause I thought he wouldn’t like me very much. So, because I was  _ malfunctioning _ , I was just dumbly like, ‘uhh, yeah sure’ and accidentally let my voice go all high pitched. He didn’t say anything, but I still felt stupid, you know?” 

Felix kicked out his legs angrily, letting them fall back onto the log sharply. Huffing, he continued to speak, but his voice began to naturally grow louder as he spoke. “And the stupid boys in the class keep saying dumb things! They told me I have to start talking to girls now because I’m in high school. And, like, I  _ know  _ that, but none of the girls at school even like me, I don’t think! Gage said he was pretty sure that Hanah likes me though, said he was gonna get her Instagram for me, so I can start talking to her. I hope she actually likes me though… A girl’s never liked me before…  _ Ugh _ , thinking about girls makes my head hurt.”

Jumping down his perch, Felix decided to head home, even if it was much earlier than he usually went home. Today was weird and he just wanted to go watch YouTube videos in his bed. He resigned to think about _ that stuff _ later, but not yet.

* * *

**October**

_ I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate _

_ Don't message me 'cause I won't reply, I wanna make you cry _

Felix felt like running--maybe it was the indecision boiling deep within him, maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t gotten to go outside for two whole weeks due to being grounded. Most likely, it was both.

That day, Felix did run. He ran a lot, he had dodged tree branches and carefully jumped over a small creek without slowing his pace. Eventually--once his legs burned and his breathing grew heavy--he stopped at a small clearing. Felix had never been this far out into the forest and made note of the peaceful area, where the trees had formed a circle with an almost serenely perfect amount of sunlight shining through the top. He laid in the middle, hands reaching towards the sky, and began his near-daily routine of just  _ talking _ .

“I officially hate my life!” He cried, vaguely aware that he was being overdramatic, but unable to stop himself from doing so. “I did all my research! All of it! I was so excited to be one of the dudes this year, but now I just feel like a- a  _ jerk _ . Hanah seemed to really like me, but I thought I was supposed to ghost her sometimes, and Gage and Hunter said that you have to wait at least an hour before replying to girls. So I did! Now, she doesn’t want to talk to me at all… Gage and Hunter didn’t seem bothered when I told them but I just feel so bad about it… I even tried to apologize but she thought I was lying! And when Gage and Hunter found out they just made fun of me for it! Ugh… Maybe I’m just not cut out to be a boy.”

Letting out a dramatic sigh, Felix pushed himself into a sitting position, “Plus! I’ve been eating lunch with Seungmin and his friends, Jeongin and Jisung, and they seem to like me pretty okay. Much better than Gage and Hunter. But, ugh, if I hang out with them I’ll be part of the loser crowd  _ forever _ . I mean, I like them so much more than the other boys but they’re so… so…  _ gay _ ! Gage and Hunter remind me in every single English period too. Ugh! I’ll just keep eating with them for now, but I don’t know. I just..” Felix kicked a single leg up before letting it slam back down, “Ugh!”

Felix let himself wallow in his frustration for a while longer, the noises of the forest comforting him as he laid still. When the sky grew dark, and he grew tired of mindlessly playing games on his phone, he got up slowly. He felt better, though there were still traces of frustration lingering and he dreaded going to school the next day. Shaking his limbs as if it could shake off the negativity he felt, Felix let out a deep sigh before heading home.

“I hate being fourteen,” He grumbled as he walked, “I can’t wait until I’m college like Chris.”

* * *

**November**

_ And if you wanna cry _

_ Make sure that they never see it _

Felix scowled as he led Chris and Woojin to the clearing he had found. He didn’t turn to look behind him, not wanting the couple to see the tears falling down his cheeks, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep his cries in either. Silently pointing to the creek as the approached, he hopped over it, waiting for the thuds of Chris and Woojin's feet before going to continue, pausing only for a second when he felt his brother’s hand fall onto his shoulder.

They arrived in the clearing soon after as it wasn’t very far from the creek at all. Felix, Chris, and Woojin all silently sat down, with Chris and Woojin holding hands and leaning on each other across from the still scowling Felix. 

Chris smiled, soft and confronting, breaking the silence between them, “What’s eating you, lil bro?” 

Felix bit his lip, picking at the hem of his t-shirt, before letting out a quiet, “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Felix watched as Chris's face fell, and Woojin carefully squeezed his brother’s hand. When Chris didn’t say anything, Felix felt the sadness and betrayal he felt turn into anger as he continued, “You should know I wouldn’t care! And that I wouldn’t tell dad! I- I… A whole year, Chris! You kept him a secret from me for a whole year! I… I just… Don’t you trust me?” 

Felix had buried his face into his knees, only to jump when he suddenly felt arms go around him. _When was the last time he and his brother had shared a sincere hug?_ Felix didn’t vocalize this question, just melting into his brother’s touch as the older spoke, “We didn’t tell anyone until September, we couldn’t risk Woojin's parents finding out. But, we’re making progress, and we’re going to tell them on New Year’s when I go meet them. They’re different than our family, dad and his asshole friends might make some homophobic jokes, but Woojin could get in a lot of trouble with his family when we tell them.”

Felix nodded seriously, not looking up from his knees yet, “Like my friend Jeongin.”

“Is that one of your new friends at school?”

“Yeah, his parents are, like, super religious and homophobic but Jeongin's gay and scared he’ll get kicked out. It’s kind of scary when he talks about them.”

“That’s how Woojin's parents are, that’s why we couldn’t tell anyone yet.”

Felix still had questions bouncing around in his head, but when he looked up Chris slowly moved until he was holding him in a side hug and Woojin had a really small smile from where he was sitting. His feelings were still a little hurt, and he was still confused, but he also realized that this was what was best for the two of them even if he didn’t understand it fully. So, he nodded, “I think I get it.”

Chris smiled brightly next to him, “I’m glad, lil dude. Do you wanna go back home now, or stay here a little longer?”

Felix thought of his house, where his dad and his dad’s friends had already started to make jabs at the couple about both their sexuality and Woojin for having an accent and shook his head. “Let’s stay here a little while longer, I wanna hear about what college is like! Is it as cool as TV shows and movies?”

* * *

**December**

_ I have friends who understand me _

_ Their names are spider, beetle, bee _

“Is that a spider? Oh my god it’s a spider! Seungmin, kill it!” Jisung screamed, but the three other boys laughed. 

“Sung we can’t kill it,” Felix replied, “This is it’s home! Killing it would make you a murderer.”

Seungmin nodded, “We’d be the stars of an episode of spider  _ Criminal Minds _ .” The group dissolved into a fit of laughter at the comment and Jeongin ended up having to wipe away tears from how hard he was laughing.

Felix stood and pointed forward, “There’s a really pretty clearing this way! It’s where I like to hang out.” The three boys behind him, who would let out the occasional laugh for no discernible reason, nodded and followed their current leader dutifully.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful, save a few minor blunders. Jeongin, who stood the tallest of the group at an impressive three inches taller than Felix, got smacked in the face by a branch. That had led to another group-wide fit of laughter, although none of them could’ve told what was so funny about the situation. Jisung had managed to spot three more spiders, screaming every time. Crossing the creek presented itself as another challenge as well. Felix, used to the jump over it, did so with ease, but the other three had eyed it warily. 

“It’s already so cold,” Seungmin started, “If I get wet I _will_ freeze to death.”

Felix let out a small scoff, “It’s really not that hard to jump over it. If you can’t make it, then use the rocks, they make a pretty clear path.”

Jisung was the first to try it, and he jumped over perfectly fine but ended up on the ground as he landed. He popped up happily and gave the others a thumbs-up despite his newly acquired dirt stains. Jeongin followed, crossing with an easy jump, he stumbled as he landed but didn’t fall as Jisung had. Seungmin was the last to cross, eyeing the creek with such disdain, that Felix felt if Seungmin had laser-eyes he would definitely be attacking the creek with them. 

“Come on,” Jisung cried, “It’s not bad!”

Seungmin straightened out his shoulders and backed up to get a running start at the jump. Unlike the others, who had cleared the creek easily, Seungmin jumped short and his left foot submerged itself into the water. “Ahh!” He cried, walking up towards them, “My foot got  _ wet _ !”

The other three had shrugged off his cry with a variation of  _ “You’ll be okay” _ , and then the group was trekking to the clearing. 

They made it soon ate that and once Jisung had jumped around for a minute, the group sat in a circle in the middle, talking about everything they could think. As Jisung and Jeongin started a heated discussion about what the best sports anime was ( _ “It’s 120%  _ _ Haikyuu!! _ _. Nothing can bet it.” “Sung, have you ever seen  _ _ Free! _ _? It’s way better! _ ”). Felix ignored them and turned to Seungmin, who was pouting and fiddling with his wet shoelace. Not saying anything, Felix shrugged off his second jacket and covered Seungmin's foot with it. “So you won’t _‘freeze to death’_.” He explained, which caused Seungmin to crack a small but thankful smile. 

“Gay!” Jisung yelled, watching them.

“Jisung shut up, you’re gay.”

“No, I’m not, I’m  _ bi _ .”

“It’s practically the same thing.”

“Innie, you’re supposed to take my side!”

Felix loved his friends, he really did. He never thought he’d have friends like this last year, or even in August, but he was so grateful that he found these three. Even if they were idiots sometimes.

Jisung was the one to interrupt his thoughts, “Felix, why are you watching us with a dopey smile?”

“I just, I love you guys a lot.”

The group fell into another fit of laughter after Jisung had affectionately replied, “Aw man, that’s really gay, but I love you too.” Felix doesn’t think he could be happier anywhere else.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos, and bookmarks are greatly appreciated!!  
> SNS:  
> Twitter - @/fairi_channie (Ko-fi is linked here, as well as com*ssion details)  
> Tumblr - @/wannabe-punk-rocker


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